With leaves that already fell down from the trees, just like that we found ourselves in the middle of autumn. And somehow I’m still in my springtime mode. This year really flew by. Summer is behind us, winter upon, and I keep thinking about this year and all the things that happened. And yeah, yeah, I know October isn’t the time to look back and reflect on year, but I’m quite positive I won’t do much „reflecting“ during holidays. (Between holiday parties, family reunions, and New Years’ plans, who has time for quality reflecting on year behind us?) So, why not look back now?
I feel like this year (not only this year, but let’s keep our focus on 2017) I was mostly unorganized, with a cluttered mind. I found some new friends, lost some old ones, was in and out of shape. Nothing happened and everything happened. All in all it wasn’t the best year of my life. And yes, I did (and still do) have my health and supporting family. God only knows I’m beyond grateful for that. Just this lethargic state of mind and semi-depression threw me off. Being so lost mentally made me feel really afraid of future and that put its’ mark on 2017.
However, with all of those crappy feelings, there has been a highlight of this year. There has been a certain point when I started to feel good (semi-good, let’s not get ahead of ourselves) about myself. I cannot really pin point that moment, but I guess that somewhere between all disappointments I decided to stand up for myself. In front of others and in front of myself. As ridiculous as that sounds I started to love myself just as I am. I embraced the fact that it is OK I’m not agreeing with everyone else. It is OK I choose not to do something others are doing. It’s an amazing feeling trying to be the best version of yourself. And that is the most important thing you can work on, you know? Because all of us should be comfortable in our own skin. Respect others, let them be whatever and whoever they choose to be. Also respect yourself and be that person you always imagined you would be.
To wrap it up, this year still isn’t over and I’m sure it will be an emotional roller-coaster in the next months and/or years. Because that’s life. I hope all of you reading this had an extraordinary year so far with many blessings ahead. Don’t obsess yourself with mistakes made, look forward day by day. Find something to look forward to in the near future and work towards that.
Until next time,